From top events during the next week to the best new bars and shops, celebrate everything amazing about our beautiful city. By Secret Tel Aviv.
For Full Events Listings, check our Events Calendar
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FUCK YOU HIPSTERS!
With your fun concerts all week in your super-cool bars!
Who wants to have fun anyway?! Tonight (Thursday): Riff Cohen @ Pasaz, Saturday: Malabi Tropical @ Barby and Calypso Dreams @ Teder, Monday: Echo & Tito @ BuXa, and Tuesday: Dirty Honkers @ Kuli Alma. For more cool bars check out our Best Bars in Tel Aviv Guide!
FUCK YOU TECHNO DJS!
With your sparkly turnstiles and addictive beats!
Who wants to rave anyway?! Tonight (Thursday): straight from Tomorrowland, top international DJs Nervo (pictured), Blasterjaxx and more at Life in Color Festival @ Live Park Rishon; Saturday: Rabbits in the Sand & Beit Maariv join forces for an outdoor daytime rave.
FUCK YOU MULTICULTURALISM!
With your exotic food and strange customs!
Who wants to learn from other cultures anyway?! Tonight (Thursday): get stuck in to Bavarian sausages and beer at Guten Appetit @ Bialik Square; and check out Danish band Brothers Moving @ Abraham’s Hostel. Monday: Celebrate drugs, raves, Factory Records, and the Hacienda from 80s Manchester at The Party People @ Ozenbar.
FUCK YOU INDEPENDENT DESIGNERS!
With your pop-up fairs and unique creations!
Who wants to buy cool shit anyway?! Saturday: Fall Market TLV @ Teder – a huge outdoor market with fashion and lots more; and also Saturday Made by Women Fair @ Diego San – with local female designers and creators. Looking for something more mainstream? Check out our Guide to Tel Aviv’s Best Malls and Shopping Streets.
FUCK YOU FOR NOT WORKING ON A FRIDAY!
With your chilled out things to do with your friends!
Who wants to chill out while the rest of the world works anyway?! Pick up a new hobby at art store Yooletta’s 3rd Birthday Party; or bring in Shabbat at Piano Friday @ Shaffa Bar. Want something more chilled – hit the beach! Check out our Guide to Tel Aviv’s Beaches. Photo by Niv Glazman.
FUCK YOU FOR CARING!
With your animal rights and your charities!
Who cares about others anyway?! Saturday: a huge Animal Rights Protest at Rabin Square; and Wednesday, drink some wine and listen to live jazz while raising money for a good cause at Wine Wednesdays @ Mazeh 9. Looking for cool places to do volunteering in Tel Aviv? Check out our Guide to Volunteering in Tel Aviv.
FUCK YOU COMMUNAL ROSH HASHANAH MEALS!
With your new friends and tasty meals
Who wants to be with people anyway?! There’s 4 awesome communal Rosh Hashanah dinners to chose from, sign up before they sell out! 1. Tel Aviv International Synagogue with Rabbi Ariel; 2. Chabad on the Coast; 3. Inspired Tel Aviv’s Pop Up Dinner; and 4. White City Shabbat. Looking for more cool ways to meet people? Check out our Places to Meet New People Guide.
FUCK YOU AMAZING RESTAURANTS!
With your poncy menus and delicious food!
Who cares about good food anyway?! If you do and want to win a cool prize, click here to vote for your favorite fancy restaurant in this week’s poll: “My parents are in town, where should we go?”. Need a little inspiration? Check out our Food and Drink Guides! Thank you for noticing we just updated them!
FUCK YOU ISRAELI HI-TECH!
With your leading companies, top jobs, and networking events!
Who cares about building a career anyway?! There are only 600 relevant jobs for internationals on our Jobs Board, no big deal. Click here to check them out. Learn more about the best companies in Israel in our Guide to the Best Companies in Israel. Want to meet some of the top professionals in the field? Check out Garage Geeks Meet the Leaders at DLD Innovation Festival (tonight).
FUCK YOU FUTURE CONCERT IN ISRAEL!
With your dope beats and mesmerizing lyrics!
Who even wants top international artists come to Tel Aviv anyway?! American Hip-Hop icon Future is coming to Tel Aviv on October 25th – click here to get your tickets and get a special 40 NIS discount with Secret Tel Aviv. Click here for more top international artists coming to Israel, including the recently announced Boy George and Culture Club in November.
FUCK YOU HEBREW!
With your stupid alphabet and your ancient language!
Who needs to integrate anyway?! If you really want to sound street Israeli, you need to know this word! This week’s Street Slang Word of the Week in cooperation with Citizen Cafe OOlpan is Sssemek, which means Fuck! For more cool words, check out Citizen Cafe OOlpan, and get a 120 NIS discount when you register with Secret Tel Aviv. Click here for more info.
Fuck You Tel Aviv, You are So Fucking Amazing!
This newsletter was inspired by the video Fuck You Tel Aviv by Ran Tal and Nimrod Magal.
Are you coming to Israel on vacation, or just want to get out of Tel Aviv for the weekend? Check out our Best Hotels and Best Tours Guides. If you want to see a list of events, you can go to the Events Calendar on the Secret Tel Aviv Website.