Last updated January 27th 2016

Secret Tel Aviv Stash

(Photo Credit: Secret Tel Aviv)

By The Daily Freier Staff

Last Updated 1/25/2016 at 7:30 PM

Tel Aviv- The City’s literary community is in turmoil this evening as publishing giant “The Daily Freier” was forced to perform an embarrassing retraction of an article. The newspaper of record had prepared its daily edition with a humorous yet satirical story about a guy who seeks to sell “someone else’s” pornography collection on the popular website “Secret Tel Aviv”.  Yet early this evening officials from the Israeli Bureau of Literary and Publishing Standards served a notice at the Daily Freier’s Central Tel Aviv office that the satirical story that it had just created was identical to a real life event: a guy trying to sell “someone else’s” pornography collection on the popular website “Secret Tel Aviv”. 

Officials from the Bureau explained their strict enforcement of the law: “It is very important for the Israeli public that satire stay within the realm of satire and not enter the realm of real world events.” noted Investigator Yair C.  “Just last Spring we shut down an operation that had written a satirical piece about a guy who ran a casino with hookers and drugs in the Balkans and then got himself elected to the Knesset.

For their part, Daily Freier staff were humiliated by the spectacle. “You don’t know how much research goes into each article.” noted ‘Pulse of the City’ section editor Darren B. “This was an incredible oversight on our part. Our interns labor mightily on the Internets to ensure that a satirical event never actually occurred. That way we don’t write a satirical piece about a guy checking Secret Tel Aviv for a Rave Dance Party that offers babysitting.  Really though, our biggest fear is that as the posts continue to get weirder and weirder, it is only a matter of time before Secret Tel Aviv becomes a self-aware entity.”

When asked if he had any closing remarks about the unfortunate events today, Darren asked “Say you wouldn’t know if the collection has been sold yet would you? ……Asking for a friend.”